


in screaming colour

by pendules



Series: out of the woods [1]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Crack, Gansey's not much better but he tries to help all the same, M/M, POV Outsider, Ronan sucks at Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 18:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5636734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pendules/pseuds/pendules
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Let me get this straight. Adam told you that he loves you and you...<i>broke up with him</i>?"</p><p>Ronan fixes him with a glare that could potentially steal his soul and then banish it to some hell dimension.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in screaming colour

They're fighting again. He tries not to eavesdrop, but it's usually near impossible, their raised voices echoing from Ronan's room throughout the cavernous warehouse. He knows by now that interfering is not advisable under any circumstances, no matter how much he's itching to — it's futile trying to understand their unconventional relationship from an outsider's view, even if it's someone who knows them as well as he does, and he's hesitant to risk the force of their combined wrath if he tries to meddle — but something feels different now. For one, it's never this quiet afterwards. There's usually a loud slamming of Ronan's bedroom door accompanied by the sounds of Adam storming out of the warehouse, fuming, one hand raised as he passes Gansey by, to let him know it's fine, they'll sort it out, they just need some time to decompress. He usually finds them reliably curled around each other on the couch, a few days later at the most, looking at each other like the rest of the world doesn't exist.

This time, though — this time, Adam slowly makes his way over to where he's sitting on the floor surrounded by messy stacks of books, after presumably staring at Ronan's all-too-quietly shut door for five minutes, and just stands there, looking dazed and almost lost. He tucks both his hands into his pockets; they seem to be shaking, and not from anger.

"You okay?" he asks after a few seconds' deliberation, adjusting his glasses on his nose before looking up at him.

He swallows, blinking rapidly at him, like he's come out of a trance. He nods. "Yeah, I'm —" And then his face seems to fall again. "No," he whispers. "I'm really not."

Gansey sighs before getting to his feet, reaching out to brush his fingers over Adam's elbow in what he hopes is a gesture of comfort, before leading him over to the couch.

Adam just stares down at his lap for a long moment like he's forgotten he's there.

"Do you want to maybe —" he tries, cautiously.

"I think — I think he _broke up_ with me," he says, incredulously, eyebrows furrowed.

" _What?_ " That's it. Forget not meddling. He's going to _kill_ Ronan. Slowly.

"I —" Adam finally looks up at him, eyes still distant, like he's trying to puzzle it out, work out what went wrong, what _he_ did. "I _said_ something. Something I probably shouldn't have. And then he locked himself in his room and said he needed space."

Gansey frowns, wondering what he might have said that could be that bad. It's not like they usually hold back from being genuinely terrible to each other, and it always works out anyway. And then it dawns on him, as Adam gives him a significant look.

" _Oh._ "

"Yeah," he says, going pink, dropping his gaze again.

"Did you mean it?"

"What?" he says, head jerking up, looking offended. " _Of course_ I meant it. That's not — that's not the problem."

"Yeah, the problem's that Ronan's a damaged mess who doesn't know how to accept normal human feelings. Well, the good ones anyway."

"You think that's it?" Adam says, narrowing his eyes.

Gansey shrugs. It's not a problem unique to him by any stretch of the imagination. They're all still learning.

"He has to _know_ , right?" Adam says, biting his lip, looking slightly frantic now. "He has to know that I — that I meant it?"

"I think he does. Deep down. It's just hard. Maybe you _should_ give him some time."

Adam nods at him, just barely, but there's something like understanding in his eyes.

*

It's been two days and he hasn't left his room and Gansey decides enough is enough, even if it feels like he's entering the den of a wild, angry, emotionally-constipated beast.

He bangs on his door for fifteen minutes and then grabs the hairpins that are lying on his desk and picks the lock, slowly, but the click is still satisfying (Blue knows all kinds of useful skills, apparently, most of them acquired from a childhood spent playing pranks on Orla).

His room's a mess, empty cans and dirty clothing and crumpled-up pieces of paper and the occasional dream object haphazardly scattered all over the floor and on every surface. It smells terrible, too — stale beer and sweat and must and unshowered boy — and he wrinkles his nose as he sits on the very end of Ronan's bed. He's holding a ball that looks like it contains the Milky Way in it that he's been bouncing off the ceiling.

He tries his very best to keep his voice calm and non-judgmental.

"Let me get this straight. Adam told you that he loves you and you… _broke up with him_?"

Ronan fixes him with a glare that could potentially steal his soul and then banish it to some hell dimension.

"It's none of your business," he grits out, staring back up at the ceiling, mouth in a tense line, gripping the ball tighter in his hand.

"I get it —" Gansey continues, like he didn't hear him at all. "I get that you're having a crisis. But don't shut him out like this. He doesn't deserve it."

Ronan turns away from him to face the wall. " _Go. Away._ "

"He meant it, you know. Anyone can see it. It wasn't easy for him either, but — you owe him more than this."

Ronan mutters something that could be incoherent swearing or actually trying to put a curse on him.

"What?"

"I don't _deserve_ him," he says, only just audible now.

Gansey sighs. " _He_ thinks you do. Are you just going to let him down?"

Ronan rolls back over so he can see his face, open and vulnerable and young now, all his anger seeped away.

"I'm just going to fuck it up eventually. Fuck _him_ up. He should _know_ that."

"You only fuck things up when it's _intentional_ ," Gansey says, blunt but sympathetic.

"He probably hates me," Ronan says, meeting his eyes, looking scared now.

"He doesn't," he promises.

He gently squeezes his shoulder in reassurance before getting up. 

"Take a shower before you go see him, for heaven's sake," Gansey calls behind him as he leaves.

*

It's three days later when he walks into Monmouth just as Adam's leaning down to press a kiss to Ronan's mouth, glowing and happy, smiling into it as he closes his eyes. It should feel like déjà vu, but it's always brand new at the same time. It feels like an image that's been trapped in a constant loop behind his eyes — a ghost of a moment — something he'll always remember, something permanent and infinite that'll last longer than all of them. He shakes his head fondly, smiling to himself, before joining them.


End file.
